SPECIAL REPORT: Glinda – International War Criminal

As the holidays approach, we are bombarded with the “ole” favorite movies. One of my favorites has always been the Wizard of Oz. After watching this movie over twenty-five times, I have come up with several new insights. One of the strongest is that it is now apparent the Glinda, the “Good” Witch of the North, is an avowed War Criminal. Please understand that the evidence presented is based on the Movie as opposed to the book.

Let us examine the world of Oz before the appearance of Dorothy. The governments of Oz consisted of four major powers: The “Wicked” Witch of the East, her sister the “Wicked” Witch of the west, the Wizard of Oz and Glinda the “Good” Witch of the North. This status quo seemed to be in place for several years BD (Before Dorothy).

The arrival of Dorothy is, of course, quite dramatic. The house falls, killing the “Wicked” Witch of the East. First of all, the house falling on a highly mobile witch appears to be a hugely, unlikely “accident.” Whether or not Glinda had prior knowledge of the alleged “accident” is not readily apparent, but she did take advantage of the situation.

She stepped in and took control of the American intervention and the propaganda machine started. First and foremost, the Munchkins remained in hiding until she orders them out. She then explains to Dorothy how oppressed the poor Munchkins were under the thumb of the “Wicked” Witch of the East. Just an observation: Most of the oppressed populations I have seen, usually dress in gray or sad looking uniforms; most have civilians that are thin. There usually aren’t organizations with oppressed peoples such as the “Lullaby League” or the “Lollipop Guild.”

Of course the invading Americans (I’m including the dog) are taken in with these “facts.” Glinda then urges Dorothy to take the Ruby Slippers and never let the “Wicked” Witch of the West to have them.

Having been involved with several family court settlements, I can truly say that family heirlooms such as ruby slippers are not allowed to be handed out to any passers-by. Glinda, in doing so, sets up an adversarial arrangement with the true inheritors of the priceless accessories.

When the “Wicked” Witch of the West, (hereafter referred to as “W”WW), shows up, Glinda tells “W”WW that Dorothy will never give up the shoes. After expressing her obvious disappointment of having last remaining memory of her sister stolen from her, “W”WW leaves, presumably to seek legal counsel.

Dorothy in her confused and disoriented state is then sent to the last remaining world power, the Wizard of Oz (WoO). The trip in eventful and fraught with dangers, but Dorothy, the resourceful American that she is, builds a small army of dissatisfied local indigenous personnel. This army descends on the Emerald City and demands satisfaction. The city of course refuses to let them in.

Faced with no other course, the army stages an Occupy Emerald City event. It is at this time “W”WW asks Dorothy to surrender the shoes or face a protracted legal battle.

The WoO hears about the upcoming legal battle, perhaps from a clerk, and summons Dorothy to meet him. He agrees to meet the Occupy Emerald City Demands with certain conditions, namely the “W”WW’s broomstick.

Dorothy assembles her crack Special Forces team and covertly invades the domain of “W”WW. “W”WW invites Dorothy to wait, showing her a lovely hourglass and presumably waiting until her legal counsel arrives to work out an equitable settlement. Meanwhile, her team invades “W”WW’s mansion-destroying things in their wake. “W”WW assembles her security personnel and confronts Dorothy and her team.

The situation escalates and “W”WW is accidently slain. Dorothy returns the broomstick and demands WoO keep his end of the bargain. WoO complies and then abdicates and flees, leaving Dorothy in charge.

Glinda “miraculously” shows up. She then shows Dorothy how she can leave using the shoes (If the shoes worked, why not earlier). Dorothy leaves a puppet regime in place and returns home.

Oz is then left bereft of three world leaders. As nature abhors a vacuum, Glinda steps in and becomes the One World Leader.

So, in conclusion, let us list the Crimes Against Humanity that Glinda obviously committed:
1) Murder (“Wicked” Witch of the East)
2) Unlawful Takeover of a Sovereign Entity (Munchkinland)
3) Grand Theft (Ruby Slippers)
4) Inciting a Riot (with the Munchkins)
5) Aiding a Abetting a Felony (Aiding Dorothy absconding with the aforementioned Ruby Slippers)
6) Inciting an Invasion of a Sovereign Entity (Two Counts)
7) Accessory to Murder (“W”WW)
and Accessory to the Overthrow of a Sovereign Government (WoO).

Channel 37 is always vigilant in the ways of Truth, Justice and The American Way. If there are comments on this matter, or crimes we have neglected to list, please feel free to comment.