Is global warming to blame for the “Superstorm Sandy” (previously known as the Frankenstorm)? Experts on all sides disagree. The proponents of Global Warming, however, are beginning to be taken a little bit more seriously.
Several years ago, we wrote a small little ditty with global warming in mind. This fictional radio interview says what we believe about global warming. Enjoy! Moreover, do not take this one too seriously.
“Today on Science Talk, we are honored to have Dr. Henrik Olund of the prestigious Copenhagen University. Dr. Olund, along with Drs. Avington and Tambeau of Toronto University have penned a book, entitled Global Warming: Change for Good.
“Dr. Olund, your book has caused quite a controversy, especially among those who feel we have to act now to save the world from global warming. What do you have to say to all of this?”
“Well, Ms Pearson, it seems that most of our detractors have not read the book. If they had, they would realize that we agree with them more often than not.”
“In your book, you and your colleagues suggest that man could not alone be responsible. Carbon emissions are not solely a man-made issue.”
“Unfortunately it is not as simple as that, Ms. Pearson. We have engaged quite a few scientists and interns on an extensive forensic examination of similar weather patterns in earth’s past. This includes seven highly detail studies of past patterns, two on a global scale and five on a regional scale.
“We have allowed whole new understandings of how this planet functions and causes of previous thermal adjustments.”
“Thermal adjustments, Doctor?”
“Yes, Ms Pearson. The past of this planet has shown both increases and decreases in average temperature. These adjustments help the earth to maintain its overall health.”
“The health of the earth?”
“Exactly! We approached this matter as if the earth was a functioning, living being.”
“And how did that approach make a difference?”
“Well, take yourself for example, Ms. Pearson. You seem to be a normal healthy human. Am I correct?”
“Yet as a normal functioning human you know that your body contains billions of bacteria, viruses and other microbiological creatures. You and they live in a harmonious, symbiotic relationship.
“Now, should these beings begin to grow uncontrollably, then this balance is upset. Your body would become sick and infected.”
“Yes, Dr., I know that will happen, but…”
“Please, Ms. Pearson, I must first ask, what would your symptoms be?”
“I’m no MD, but I’d imagine that I would feel lethargic, maybe develop a fever.”
“So, Dr. Olund, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“What is that, Ms. Pearson?”
“That the earth is suffering from an infection and soon as it is eliminated, then it will return to normal.”
“That is indeed the problem. We calculate that once the infection is removed, earth will once again function normally.”
“Please Dr., what is this infection?”
“It is called ‘Humanity.’”